Preparing for a recent trip to Washington D.C., I made my first-ever attempt to board a plane without checking my bag. I went to Target and spent a fortune on those special little 3 ounce bottles and travel-size beauty products.
When I got to the TSA security gauntlet in Des Moines, a very official TSA agent pulled me out of the line for a "special" screening. Then I was delivered some bad news. "You're only allowed a sandwich bag size bag of liquids," Mr. Screener infomed me. "You have more than twice the amount that is allowed. You are going to have to check your bag."
Not only was this going to make me potentially late in boarding my plane, but the TSA was essentially forcing me to pay a $25 bag fee. I think they must make a special commission on curly-haired girls like me. Here's the secret memo:
From: The Money Grubbing Airlines
We have noticed that women with curly hair rarely can get through security with the regulation sandwich bag full of toiletries. Snag any of these violators and we will go half-sies with you on the bag fee that they'll have to pay for violating our arbitrary rules.
Secretary Napolitano can't understand why all these frilly chicks are bitching about the regs. Why can't they just use soap and a washcloth like the rest of us?
So here's what I tried to bring through security:
- 2 bottles of hair gel
- Facewash stuff
- Facescrub stuff
- Babyoil (makeup remover)
As you might surmise, this lack of product for my curly hair would be a disaster. So, instead of throwing my newly-purchased, carefully filled bottles away, Mr. TSA agent perp-walked me over to the exit lane (after my gloved groping by someone who actually turns out to be a Facebook friend) and I was forced to return to the check-in line at Delta, now filled by last-minute slackers.
By the way, TSA, you're sending mixed messages to the public. Here is the picture on your website that says what the bag should look like. The bag pictured clearly contains more than three containers. That is what I looked at before packing. So get your story straight, and stop embarrassing your well-intentioned passengers.