Today, I spent a good part of the day setting up my new iPod Touch. I can already tell how much this little device will improve my communications and organize my life.
What I didn't expect were the emotions I encountered when deleting people who have passed away since I last cleaned out my address book.
It made me very upset and in some cases very teary to hit the delete button, knowing that I would never be entering digits for those people ever again.
My dear friend Rob Borsellino, who passed away in May, 2006 of ALS, now has a Rob Borsellino Facebook page dedicated to his memory. I deleted him from my phone two years ago, but for some reason, it was still comforting to see his name as I scrolled by him in my address book. I took the plunge today, and it was not at all fun. I think he would tell me to get over it and stop being such a baby, so I will. But I still miss him.
My friend and mentor Merle Fleming also passed away in 2006. I wrote a tribute to her on my personal blog shortly afterwards. Merle went to law school at age 50, and was equally fearless in all aspects of her life. I was her frequent guest at University of Iowa football games, where we sat in the cold, windy north end zone and cheered her favorite team to victory. I'll never forget the look of fear in her eyes when she began to lose her purse on a regular basis. One time, she admitted that her kids had talked to her about driving around town and forgetting where her car was parked.
Merle taught me more in in the eight short years of our friendship than I learned in a lifetime from my contemporaries. Among these nuggets of wisdom: Knowledge overcomes hatred. Don't judge. Revenge is a waste of time. There will be assholes in your life...deal with it. I have her walking cane in my front closet, because she left it in my car the last time we went to Iowa City. I never returned it, but now I'm glad I have it because it reminds me of her.
My pal Ralph Gross died in early 2008. This picture, which he took in Japan, hangs in my dining room. It's a long story how he came to give it to me. But he gave me this beautiful framed photo, worth more than $2,000, just because he was a nice guy. He was known in Des Moines as the biggest critic of the Des Moines Register. His ramblings to that end outlive him, proving the theory of "The Long Tail!" I'm sure he's up in heaven, putting together an editorial board. Ralph was a very talented photographer and a one-of-a-kind fellow. He was way too young to die.
And last but not least, my democratic buddy Mike Tonini passed away after a long battle with cancer a few years back. He was such a unique individual. An undertaker by vocation, he also delighted in "campaigning"...his way.
He used to take his hearse out on Des Moines' southside in the middle of the night and fill it full with yard signs of anyone who dared to oppose his candidate. What he did with all those signs, I'll never know. I also have no idea how he functioned on such a lack of sleep.
One time during the Gore campaign in late 1999, we were desperately looking for someone with a large, official-looking vehicle to drive Hillary Clinton around to a couple of Iowa surrogate stops. Mike's "other" car was a Ford Expedition, so he volunteered. He kept the unusual key chain he used intact: a swinging miniature wooden coffin that made a thunking noise on the dash at every stop sign.
So now I have a clean address book. But it was great to look at each name, remembering how we met and how many great friends I have.
That's a thoughtful post. It's tough deleting people on address books and such. That was a great read.
Posted by: Jim Westhoff | January 08, 2009 at 09:23 AM